Gimme a break, gimme a break. Break me off a piece of that…1

I finally encouraged myself to ask for a one week break from work. I have been thinking about that for over several weeks, but I always backpedaled at the last moment, explaining to myself that there’s no actual reason for me to do it. My modus operandi after the decision not to take a brake was dealing with the work fatigue quite well for a couple of days, then feeling worse and worse, regretting that decision, until the fatigue finally started spilling onto other parts of my life. 2

It’s day no. 2 and I feel like week has already passed. It’s good that I actually started doing things I’ve put away for so long; I organised a home budget with my wife, I’ve been to a physiotherapist (and schedulers future appointments), I visited a hairdresser. These look like really small things, but were neglected long enough and it feels good to finally take care of those. And I did not mention the obvious: I finally have more time to spend with my wife and my son. Today I had the chance to participate in the playdates, organised in the nearby cafe, that have been only my wife’s domain for a couple of weeks already, because I’m always at work this time of the day.

I need to schedule more things to do this week, otherwise I know I’m going to look back at this break as unnecessary. I have some things on my mind already, so I’m staying positive. Recreational programming has (or should have) the lowest priority to me right now, even though I would actually like it to be otherwise. I mean, if you knew me, you would know that I’m not going to actually write something if I had the time, but I would just waste it thinking about what technology stack should I pick for the project that I’m not even sure is about. So yeah, that’s why programming is put on hold — not because I write code too much, but because I write it too little.

Recently I’ve read an article about unlearning perfectionism and it resonated with me quite deeply. The timing was perfect, because I started changing my life already (baby steps for now) and that article just helped me deepen my motivation. This blog is one of the byproducts of my decisions. And this particular post is to me like a homework assignment that I’m obligated to finish, even though it might not be of a much value. But hey, I’m leaving the perfectionism aren’t I? Suck it, world.

  1. football cream ↩︎

  2. Rinse and repeat for about 5 to 8 times. ↩︎